just the same

We do not have softball tomorrow.  We have a bye week.  Cool because I have the twins party on Sat and not much is done right now.  Usually I take 3wks to set up and here it is in two days....  hmmmmmm.....  Oh well.

I did not go to the coffee shop to do what I wanted.  I didn't have kids and it was too much of an effort to get out of my jammies and get me ready for public! 

I am driving my mother's car now.  It is ok, much better with new tires on it!!  The windows don't work and Im a drive thru junkie right now, kinda sucks.

Ben is learning how to drive, FINALLY!  It is not as stressful this time around.  He is not as scary either!  I think driving that golf cart at work has really helped!

I have not been feeling well lately.  Almost depressed, but more like just....  blah.....  I have no motivation, the joy department is pretty down, feel frumpy.  Ok, depressed.  But Im on the big P.  what is up with that?  Hmmmm..... 

I think it is mostly money.  I mean the money situation is getting better, its just stressful.  And no relationship.  I think it is ok.  I seriously dont have time for a complete commitment right now, but Im still a little lonely.  I miss holding hands, kissing, taking...  all that jazz, just not the responsibility part; for what ever that means.  I think guys are just hard work!  I mean, if there were one out there as busy as I am.... and as lonely.....  he'd probably cheat or want the friends with benefits crap and then do whatever he wants when he wants.  No thanks.  If Im going to be committed, even if it is only here and there then he can step up too.  Besides one of us would end up wanting more and then from my side, who would or what would suffer?  My kids?  School work?  Something.

Im just tired.  I need a vaca so bad.  Im seriously thinking of taking off to Flag, but I want to go before it starts snowing and Im not sure I have the time until either the 6th or the 20th of next month.  I was thinking no on the 6th because it is my weekend with the kids.  The following is my mothers and my sisters bday and then the following I have kids.  Maybe I could switch again with Aaron.  I would want them for my mothers bday anyway, right?  Then maybe I could go on the 6th, if I have the money.  I think the car would make it.  I just need to get out of Dodge for a minute!

This class is kicking my ass!  I have no idea what the hell Im going to try to market on Saturday.  I can barely understand the concepts in the first place!

Ahhh work calls!!!